Another Texan jumping in . . .

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Another Texan jumping in . . .

Post  Cris on Wed May 14, 2014 3:37 am

Hi, everyone!  

I am a 39 year old, home schooling mother of 4, living in rural TX.  I have about 15-20 pounds to lose.  

I am pretty clueless about online forums and may take awhile to figure out the best way to check in each day, but I am *desperate* for some accountability to get me going again.  

About 6 months ago I lost lots of weight on this diet and was much smaller than I've ever been (although I never quite made it to Dr. Lewis's standard!).  But what was even better than being a small size was feeling in control of my cravings and hunger!  It was unbelievably freeing.  I had all this time and energy that had been monopolized by food and dieting for most of my life!  Anyway, several things led to my demise-- one was a week-long stay at a relative's house where I managed to continue eating small amounts but got very caught up in the "health food talk" that is so common with my husband's family.  I came home again obsessing about good foods/ bad foods and trying to figure out how to afford all organic produce, raise our own meat, buy raw milk, etc, etc.  This type of thinking is very dangerous for me because of all the years I've spent caught in the dieting trap, and I fell into it yet again.  Once I felt stressed about exactly *what* I should be eating, I seemed to lose control again of *how much* I was eating.  Sad    I guess I felt overwhelmed by wanting to eat "perfectly," so I became even more desperate for sugar and sheer volume!  Food and recipes and health were on my mind all the time.  I lost the freedom I had been enjoying so much.  Another thing that led to my downfall is something I never would have believed could happen.  I actually felt rather uncomfortable and embarrassed about being thin and having to buy smaller clothes.  Sad    I won't even get into that now, but it's definitely something I need to deal with.  

The thing I need to focus on right now is to *stop overeating*!  I simply cannot go another day like this.  For the past 2 months or so, I have been totally out of control.  Always thinking I will start this diet again but never managing to make it more than 3 or 4 days on it.  And then desperately binging before my next try.  Sad   I have gained back all my weight (which, it turns out, is much more embarrassing than having everyone notice my weight loss!).  For some reason, I just don't seem to have the strength to push through the weakness, hunger, headaches, etc.  I feel like such a wimp.  How did I do it last time?!  But enough is enough.  I'm ready now.  I'm committing to a full week of doing this right, no matter how hard it gets.  One week.  That's all I'm asking of myself . . .

I hope to learn a lot from all of you and to offer any encouragement that I can!

Cris

Posts : 9
Join date : 2014-05-14

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Re: Another Texan jumping in . . .

Post  Sexy123 on Wed May 14, 2014 3:51 am

Welcome Cris!  Congrats on the weight loss.  I am sorry to hear about your re-gain BUT just think of what a learning period it was.  Avoiding those triggers will help you stay on track this time around...your last time.  I can totally relate to everything you wrote.  I will say this.  A person who is going through remission and declared cancer free never has to apologize for their healthy living.  Obesity and carrying extra weight is a huge medical risk.  So think of your slimmer self as a healthier self and that may help you deal with the guilt. I am sure you have family that wants you to stay around  as long as possible.  There is no shame or embarrassment for doing the right thing.  You should be applauded and you should be the first and most important cheerleader you have.  In the meantime, we will be here for you.  However, you sound like the expert on the matter.  So I am sure your input will be priceless.   flower

Sexy123

Posts : 223
Join date : 2014-04-30

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Re: Another Texan jumping in . . .

Post  Cris on Wed May 14, 2014 6:45 pm

Thank you so much for the encouragement! That really helps!! You are so right that I need to focus on health benefits. And I definitely want to be that example for my children, too. I hope you are having a great 5-bite day! Smile

Cris

Posts : 9
Join date : 2014-05-14

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Re: Another Texan jumping in . . .

Post  Sexy123 on Thu May 15, 2014 12:58 am

I am having a great 5 bite day.  How was your day today?

Sexy123

Posts : 223
Join date : 2014-04-30

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Re: Another Texan jumping in . . .

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