Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

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Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  Pookykat on Sat Jul 14, 2012 8:50 pm

Hello.

I'm new to the forum. I've skipped the formal introduction, but I'm on Day 4 of the 5BD, and have been journaling consistently. I waited to post it here, though, because I wanted to see if I could make it through the first three days, and if things would really, truly be different on Day 4.

Well, I did, and it is!!

And since I spent so much time reading other people's journals and experience for support and motivation, I wanted to give back by doing the same. (I will backtrack and post what I have for the first few days here.)

I want to say the following, based on my few days doing this:
GET THROUGH THE FIRST 3 DAYS! Do WHATEVER you have to do to get through the first three days! It is WORTH IT! Really, truly, I feel so different today, on Day 4. It's amazing! Also, if possible, start your 5BD when you have a few days with no real commitments. That helped me SO much. I didn't have to worry about focusing on anything else.

Thanks for having me, and good luck to all!





Last edited by Pookykat on Sat Jul 14, 2012 9:40 pm; edited 2 times in total

Pookykat

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Day 1

Post  Pookykat on Sat Jul 14, 2012 9:05 pm

Start date: July 11, 2012
Start weight: 216.6

1st goal: -40 lbs (176.6) by September 5 (8 weeks), when I head to Florida for a family party; I want to wear my old size 12 Tommy Hillfiger jeans on the plane.

2nd goal: *at least* -60 lbs (total) by November 24 (4 1/2 months from now - Vegas trip/40th birthday); weighing in at *no more than* 156.6 pounds... which would put me at a "normal" bmi for my 40th! Great gift, and the first time I will have ever been a normal bmi as an adult.

Ultimate goal: to be skinnier than I have ever been as an adult.
-Losing 81.6 - 98.6 pounds
-Weighing between 118 lbs - 135 lbs
I am female, 5'7", 39 y.o.

I am less concerned about eating "healthfully" at the beginning, as I am about shrinking my stomach and setting my hungerstat. I have never had an issue with eating healthfully, in fact, I've been quite obsessed with eating healthfully for the past 20 years.

My background is pretty similar to anyone else who's struggled with weight. I was a dancer as a kid, but started dieting at age 12, which set off a 27 year binge/starve/diet cycle. In my 20s I thought I found the cure, which was overexercise, but I could only ever get down to 180-185 pounds.

My highest weight ever was 270, back in 2003-05. If I weighed 118, that would mean I had lost 152 pounds from my top weight. Wow. I've kept this 50-60 lb weight loss off for 7 years, now, so maintenance doesn't scare me right now. It might later. I've not been able to get lower than about 200 lbs, though, in those past 7 years. No matter how much healthy eating and exercise I do, and I'm so tired of thinking about food, and obsessing, and planning, and calories, and sugar, and fat, etc etc etc.

This - the 5BD thing, which, by the way, makes SO much sense!! - all kicked in for me when I finally admitted what I wanted. When I admit what I want, truthfully, honestly, clearly, without reservation, I can then go after it.

That alone is a good life lesson.

And after so many years, my whole adult life of being fat, then spending the past god-knows-how-many-years saying my health was more important, and justifying being plus sized because I was healthy (no diabetes, normal cholesterol, low blood pressure), I faced my truth. I WANT TO BE SKINNY. Not thin. Not attractive or sexy “for a plus size girl.” SKINNY. HOT. The kind of girl who can go to the beach or the pool and feel CONFIDENT. Who turns heads. Not just a pretty face and attitude. Who can wear all the clothes she wants. Who isn’t afraid to get onstage anymore because she worries about people making fun of her weight. My weight has gotten in the way of everything. And now that I’m looking at dating again in the near future, I don’t want to be limited in my choices. I want that life. I want to be attractive while I still have 10 - 15 years left to do it. I want men to approach me. I want to have choices. I WANT TO BE SKINNY. Not thinner, not healthy, not fit. SKINNY AND HOT.

There. I’ve said it.

I know what I want. I’ve stated it clearly. Which means I can go after it. This is not about "health". It’s about liking myself and being able to become fully me and not hide anymore.

The constant dieting and bingeing is BS Very Happy .



Day 1: 216.6 lbs.
late morning - coffee w/ half and half
lunch (1:15 pm) - one egg yolk & 4 bites kamut bagel w/ PB (can only eat the yolk; I'm allergic to the whites... this seems like an odd combo, but I was looking for protein... I ate them separate, not together... )
snack (5 pm) - one egg yolk
dinner (6:30) - one egg yolk & 4 bites kamut bagel w/ PB

All day: water w/ lemon juice and stevia (I drink this because I can drink a ton of it; I can't get regular water down)

*need to buy multivitamin for tonight

I don’t ever feel like eating in the morning, so no b’fast is fine with me. Hungry, physically, but a little high from not eating. Need to formulate plan for when I need to eat for emotions, not hunger. Enjoying this more than a regular diet/food plan because it actually cuts the obsession WAY DOWN. No measuring, no obsessing, no wondering if it’s too much, too little, etc. No wondering if it’s going to work, only to get frustrated when it doesn’t.

Felt obsessive last night, like this is so unhealthy, but so is dieting for three days on healthy food, then bingeing for 2 weeks. This is temporary.

I am using this to cut my appetite down, get the weight off first. Slow isn’t working for me. Will add in healthy food as I go along.

I don’t feel unfed after my lunch. I think the egg and PB are a good idea. Protein and fat.

Helpful that i have to rest this week because of a head injury. Will add exercise next week (day 6), and see what that's like.

Worried about this triggering a binge.

After first three days, striving for not weighing myself every day.

Afternoon and nighttime were HARD. By late evening, the hunger seemed to turn off.


Last edited by Pookykat on Sun Jul 15, 2012 6:02 am; edited 1 time in total

Pookykat

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Day 2 - 3.6 pounds GONE!!!

Post  Pookykat on Sat Jul 14, 2012 9:23 pm

Day 2: 213 lbs.
pounds lost since last weigh in: 3.6
total pounds lost: 3.6

This is freakin’ awesome and very motivating to keep going! Despite the fact that I’m crazy hungry and obsessing over weight loss and what my body will look like. I'm using this obsession, though, to help keep me motivated for the hard first couple of days.

Planning to have coffee at about 10 am, before I leave to get my hair done. Going to buy a Snickers to take with me to the hair appointment. Am hoping to wait to have it until 2 pm when she’s done, but I’ve been reading a bit about consistency of time. So maybe keeping it to the 1 pm lunch/6 pm dinner wouldn’t be bad?

I’m so hungry it HURTS. I’m determined. Yes, I can do this. Just get through the weekend...

My short term goal is 40 lbs by the time I get on a plane to Florida on September 5. That’s actually only an average of 5 pounds per week, so I think it’s very doable. I hope so badly that this hunger passes, so I can settle back into my life, and not constantly think about how hungry I am. Dieting always makes me obsess to some point, so this is not different than anything I've done in the past. Don’t know how body will do on so little food when I add back exercise in a few days. If I need extra food from the working out (I love exercising), I think the trick will be to add another meal of 5 bites, rather than extra bites at lunch and dinner, if necessary, so I can keep shrinking my stomach.

Still need to buy multivitamin. Ugh. I have some supplements in the house with good stuff in them to keep me going.

Very foggy, can’t focus on anything from lack of fuel. Ugh. Does this go away?

Was starving today, and that is SO HARD, but high as a kite with a lot of energy. Lots of emotional stuff coming up, since I’m not burying all of my stuff with food.

Both lunch and dinner got me a little fuller today than yesterday, which makes me worry that I overate. But I didn’t. Makes me worry my bites were too big. It also took me about eight bites to eat that Snickers; can I really eat the whole thing? (I’m taking longer to eat, or trying to, stretching it out to 20 minutes.)

I am keeping my focus by focusing on the goal for September, and how I can go to Vegas in November and look like a normal woman, not a fat one. And that by next summer I can go to the beach. Finally. Because I can wear a swimsuit.

10-10:30 am - coffee with half and half
2:15 pm - 2 oz Snickers bar
6:30 pm - 1 egg yolk & 4 bites of kamut bagel with PB

*I just discovered kamut bagel is not gluten free, so I will need to find something else tomorrow, and be mindful of my food allergies.

Ugh, Hungry again. More stevia lemonade required...

Pookykat

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Day 3 - 4.4 pounds gone!

Post  Pookykat on Sat Jul 14, 2012 9:38 pm

Day 3: 212.2 lbs.
pounds lost since last weigh in: .8
total pounds lost: 4.4

I’m a little bummed I only lost 8/10 of a pound. Like I should figure out what I did “wrong.” But I’m not going to go there unless I stay the same for days or go up. The scale still went down and it’s still 4.4 in two days - avg. 2.2 lbs/day. Which is amazing. I know it’s all water weight right now, but I needed that. I was so bloated. I am not constipated. This seems to be having the opposite affect on me, and that is awesome (sorry - TMI!). Plan on adding back the exercise this weekend or next week. If it’s too much with no food, I will do a green juice for nutrients (very low calories). I hope the juice won’t stretch my stomach. I drink coffee with 1/2 & 1/2, and so far that's been ok, so this would - hopefully - be, too.

I’m really out of it from being so hungry.

I am STARVING today. Yesterday wasn’t so bad, but today, I feel like I’m going to die. And I'm exhausted. I hope this goes away tomorrow, on day 4, like it’s supposed to, because I feel horrible. I don’t even feel like food would be what I want (which is good); I just want this feeling to go away. this feeling of hunger, of empty, of pain.

10:15 am - coffee w/ half & half (1/2 of my cup; other half for late afternoon)
1 pm - snickers bar (after 20 oz lemonade; feeling fuller after 2 bites)
6:30 - pizza w/ turkey sausage

(Later in the day)
This is working. I think. Because, here's what happened for dinner:

Drinking 20 oz of water/lemonade pre-meal. Then I eat 4 bites of pizza, and I am just too full for the 5th. I might have it later, maybe not. I feel like if I ate another bite I would seriously puke. I read about that somewhere else, that after your stomach shrinks, and you’re on maintenance, that if you overeat, it will come back up, just like lap band and gastro patients. Wow.

As of this afternoon, there is a VERY clear distinction between feeling “empty” and feeling “true hunger.” And then that true hunger seems to be eradicated with very little food... again, Wow. It’s amazing. I thought I was hungry all day, but it wasn’t until that real hunger, the one that says, “Give me food NOW” kicked in this evening that I could tell the difference.

The empty is my body running on less, I suppose. Most likely it’s my desperate emotional need to overeat. The needing something. My depression reared it’s ugly head this afternoon, which I’ve always comforted with food.

I’m eating slowly. I take a full 20 mins or so to eat my bites.

Wow. Just wow. Feeling this full means I’m terrified I’ve overeaten! 10 bites a day and I’m panicked I’m overeating and the scale won’t budge tomorrow morning.

Looking forward to tomorrow and onward because it’s day 4 tomorrow, which means the bad part of this diet will start to pass. Looking forward to getting to that 20 pound mark, which I hope only takes a month or less to happen. I feel desperate for this to happen, right now. To get past that 200 lb mark and STAY THERE.

Waiting to see if I need my fifth bite... obsessing about starting to add exercise back into my life. I have a fear of not losing more weight. Eating wheat is bad for me, though. I need to cut that out because it makes me feel bad.

Ugh. Still forgot the vitamin, but have been taking other supplements to make up for it.

Ok. I ate my last bite. Don’t know if I “needed” it or not. I kept it small. I hope it doesn’t translate to bad scale numbers.

7:22 pm.
I can't believe I ate a tiny bit of pizza and I am STUFFED. Whenever I’ve been this stuffed in the past, it meant I binged and I was heading for weight gain and shame. Naturally, when my body feels this, I am panicked panicked panicked. Let’s look at this realistically: for dinner, I had a half of a small slice of pizza. Seriously. Half of a Dominos sized slice, or a quarter of one that's cut big. That is not a lot of food. I repeat: THAT IS NOT A LOT OF FOOD. Why am I panicked, then??? I am safe. I don’t want to get into that thing where I restrict and restrict and eat less and less and wind up bingeing anyway.

9:50 pm
I can’t believe how not hungry I still am. I’m so scared that this means I will gain weight. Maybe it means this whole thing is working. This is so crazy!!

Pookykat

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Dat 4: 5.2 POUNDS DOWN IN THREE DAYS!!

Post  Pookykat on Sun Jul 15, 2012 6:01 am

Day 4: 211.4
pounds lost since last weigh-in: .8
total pounds lost: 5.2

What is wrong with me? I’m disappointed that I “only” lost 5.2 pounds in three days??? I wanted it to be 6, and I’m discouraged that “.8” seems to be my daily number. Maybe with exercise, I can get it up to 1 per day. This, of course, with the added calories of lemon juice and half and half in my coffee, so...

Plus, I get very bloated with a lot of gas. I’m sure part of that is eating allergy foods. That needs to stop.

The good news: Day 4, and I woke up completely NOT FAMISHED! WOW...

I’m empty. That’s a feeling I’m going to have to get used to. It’s different, considering I’m so used to stuffing myself. But I know that when my body is ready for food, it’s going to tell me loud and clear. I had that experience yesterday. The difference between this and actual, real hunger is very obvious. I’ve just never been used to this part. The empty. The raw. I want to eat because it’s uncomfortable, this empty. So this is the discomfort I was feeding, which I thought was hunger. I am shaky, though. I need to get used to my new normal feeling.

Plus there was always that thing where you’re told “you have to eat first thing in the morning.” Breakfast to get your metabolism going, and all. People who skip breakfast tend to be obese. That’s because

I know at this weight I’ll be fitting into my jeans better, and my stomach isn’t protruding as much.

Starting the cabergoline tonight. I hope it doesn’t pop my weight back up, and that I’m one of the people for whom is has the good effect of making it easier to take the weight off. Not going to weigh myself tomorrow. Will wait until Monday.

10 am - venti latte from starbucks (no sugar)
1:30 pm - snickers
5:30 pm - 1 egg yolk & 4 bites pizza

Went out to brunch. It wasn’t time for me to eat, but I spilled my coffee and didn’t get to have it, so I just got some more coffee, and engaged in conversation. I met them late, and said, “I’m not going to eat, so just go ahead and order without me.” And no one cared.

Lunch on day 4: don’t feel full, don’t feel hungry, don’t feel empty, don’t feel anything. Absence of hunger. Which is good. Day 4 is working. But absence of hunger feeling is hard, because I’m not stuffed. There’s room to binge or emotionally overeat. If I were hungry, that would give me something to obsess about. I’d be fighting to not eat, etc. This is neutral and it’s HARD in a new way.

Need to have something other than the Snickers, I think. It’s not feeding my body enough today. I think something protein and whole grain would feel better.

Lots of energy, and yet still tired. Hm.

I’m having a lot of bloating. I wonder if anyone else has this issue.

Will I feel successful on this diet before I hit the 20 lb mark???

11 pm:
I had to eat dinner early. I was starving. I went from little hunger this morning to starving. Then I had to have an extra bite late tonight because I don’t think I can go to bed without. Worried the extra bite will show. Want to try not to weigh myself tomorrow. We’ll see. Still, 5 pounds down in three days is nice...

Pookykat

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LOST 7.6 POUNDS IN 4 DAYS!!!

Post  Pookykat on Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:46 pm

Day 5: 209 lbs. Very Happy
pounds lost since last weigh in: 2.4
total pounds lost: 7.6

WOOHOO!!! I couldn't believe it when I stepped on the scale this morning!!! (I know, I said I would try to wait a day, but I didn't... ) After four days on this diet, I am down 7.6 pounds. Wow. I've noticed that the bigger weight loss happens when I have an extra bite somewhere of protein, 1 bite outside of the b'fast and lunch bites. I wonder if I should continue to test this theory? I think it is worth a shot. I am hoping my body drops at least another 2.4 pounds by my Wednesday morning weigh in, so that I will have lost 10 pounds in my first week. Ideally, I would like it to be another 4.4 pounds so it can be 12 for the week. But just trying to take it as it comes.

Off to have coffee... may or may not update today's journal later... I want days where the food/diet doesn't necessarily have the starring role...

If anyone's reading, have a great rest of the weekend!

Pookykat

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At the start of Day 7: I've lost 8.8 pounds

Post  Pookykat on Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:42 pm

Day 7: 207.8
pounds lost since last weigh in: 1.4
total pounds lost: 8.8 pounds

I'm excited that I've lost almost 9 pounds in only six days. Tomorrow will be my one week weigh in, and I'm hoping it goes down 1.2 pounds so I can hit the ten pound mark for the week.

Didn't post yesterday, and it was light the day before, and probably today, as well. I'm not feeling well, not having to do with this diet, but from some complicated other medical problems going on, like a recent head injury plus having to start medication for something else. And I didn't tolerate that medication well. It made me sick and crazy, so I'm trying to recover from that.

I would like to take a walk today. I want to get my body moving. The fast weight loss on an older body that has yo-yo'ed for so many years - let's just say it's not as firm and tight as I like it, and that is making me freak out and panic. I do not want to drop weight, only to have a body of sagging skin. I'm hoping the walk will help get some of the bad meds out of my system more quickly, as well.

As far as the diet... I had a day or two where the hunger really subsided, and that was exciting. But now it seems I'm hungry. A lot. It's actually not as bad with lunch and dinner. I get hungry, I eat, and if I eat my bites slowly enough, and drink them with enough water before, I get plenty full. But the mornings without food have become incredibly challenging. As I feel better and start putting exercise back into the mix, I don't know that I can skip breakfast anymore. But I'm panicked about slowing the weight loss down. Or maybe it won't, since when I work out, I tend to hit it pretty hard. I guess I'll have to play with it, and make it a learning experience.

I just want to hit my first goal... It's been a LONG week!!!

Pookykat

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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  ElleBella on Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:47 pm

Wow you are doing soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Great!!!!! bounce bounce bounce bounce
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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  Pookykat on Tue Jul 17, 2012 7:49 pm

Thank you!!!!

I wish I didn't feel so lousy. My head is so foggy...

I've read some of your journals, too. How are you doing?

Pookykat

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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  ElleBella on Tue Jul 17, 2012 11:13 pm

Foggy brain.. and weak.. and very strange first week.. then better .. but as I fell off and have to re start again.. Its a bit hard right now.. with the meds Im on I have to eat more often in the day.. but I will be off them in the next 30 days.. then I can go full charge.. cheers

You will find in the next few days you are feeling much better.. sunny
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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  Pookykat on Tue Jul 17, 2012 11:26 pm

I hope so. I hope some of the morning hunger gets easier. The numbers dropping on the scale and the specific date when I want to wear a certain pair of pants keeps me going.

I just came from an hour walk on the beach, with three 2-minute runs and one 3-minute run within the hour. Felt great. I ate my lunch bites right before it, so I had enough fuel to keep me going. I plan on a morning workout tomorrow - a very high intensity cardio dance class, so I might need to add some bites in the morning, and/or some green veggie juice, which is VLC. I'm looking into putting weight training back into the mix, too, because I love being strong and muscular, even though I know if can affect scale numbers. I just need to find a new program/exercise schedule I'm comfortable with.

I'm so sorry you're struggling with all of the medical stuff. Yes, if you have to eat more to take care of yourself, then definitely do it!! I'm hoping I'll still be here in 30 days... one day at a time, right? I would imagine you're dropping weight anyway, even though you're eating more, just by eating less overall than you used to?


Pookykat

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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  ElleBella on Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:48 am

Wow you are getting into running.. in this heat I would die.. lol.. You sound like you are well on your way to making those 30 days.. you can do it.. cheers Thank you for your kind words.. life sometimes gives us those challenges and we just have to rise above them.. but thank you sunny

flower cheers , Debbie
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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  Snow White on Wed Jul 18, 2012 4:19 pm

Hey, Pookykat! I've been MIA for a few days, but I'm back! ; ))))) I want to be skinny hot, too! My husband is gorgeous and very successful and he deserves a skinny wife...also I'm 38 so 40 is just around the corner. Eeek! : ))))

I read through your journal and I just had a few thoughts to share with you:

1. liquid will not stretch your stomach

2. I don't feel that you have to worry about sagging skin (we recently thoroughly discussed this on Michelle/Mommieof2 and my journal). You don't have enough weight to lose to cause sagging skin. Also, Marc/16 again said even if it does, if you're patient it will bounce back...he said it may take up to a year. Again, you don't have enough weight to loss to even cause this.

3. I believe nothing will frustrate or sabotage your weight loss more than exercising. I really feel that the only way exercise can make a difference is if you do it 4 hours a day like they do on the Biggest Loser or Extreme Makeover. Think about it...a pound equals 3,500 calories and you burn 100 calories for every mile you run. You would have to run 35 miles a week, just lose one extra pound. No thanks! For fat people, the diet is the most important.

4. Your weight loss will slow to about a pound a day, so .8 is awesome, because it is a consistent daily loss. You are being too hard on yourself with this.

5. The brain fog will come and go and it's well worth the trade off to lose the weight. You won't die from brain fog, but being obese is a death sentence. Eventually, the fat around the organs will begin to poison them and make you more susceptible to all kinds of cancer and heart disease is imminent. Dr. Oz talks about this a lot as well as the Dr. on the Biggest Loser.

6. Feeling full on your 5 bites is wonderful! : ))))))))) You are not eating too much. You are doing a wonderful job!!!! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

You are doing great and I'm very proud of you!!!!! Times like this I like to think back to when I was on Weight Watchers and lost only a pound a week no matter what I did. So, if you're losing a lot more than that, be proud of your success, celebrate your accomplishments, and take it day by day. I am also so glad that you are here and really 5 biting, because many here are not and that has made it extremely difficult for me to remain motivated especially since I am here for the long haul until this is done and then some. I mean if you're not really 5 biting then how can you relate to what I'm experiencing? So I'm really glad that you are here and are in this for real. (Hope that didn't sound too harsh...don't want to offend any of my precious friends who have supported me to no end.) Everyone is on their own special journey here and we all support one another with love and kindness.

I am somewhat still a slave to binge/starve/diet and I really want to deal with this binging issue. I really think it is b/c of my PCOS and my grehlin/leptin hormones are all messed up...the only way to re-regulate these is to lose a lot of weight and get as skinny as possible. I don't have any big trauma that I am stuffing down when I binge, so it must be exclusively the hormone issue. Also, cardio can help with this, but I am unwilling to engage in this b/c I have seen first hand how exercise negatively effects my scale...I gained ten pounds in a week by exercising. Unreal!!!!!

I am very interested to see how adding the extra bite of protein works out for you! Please keep us updated about that! : ))))))
Have a great 5B day! : ))))))
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It's been one week: 10 POUNDS GONE! WOOHOO!!

Post  Pookykat on Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:07 pm

Day 8: 206.6 lbs
pounds lost since last weigh in: 1.2
total pounds lost: 10 lbs
length of time on 5BD: 1 week


Today is one week I've been on 5BD, and the scale was EXACTLY 10 pounds down. Yay!!!! It's been very, very challenging. Simple, but not easy. SO worth it!! The hunger is tough. The moments of foggy brain are tough. But being fat really sucks.

I had this acting coach who used to say, "What do you want, and what are you willing to do to get it?" I love that line. It's kept me over a year sober with another addiction. In fact, it was because I made it through that year, and my life got so good, that I knew I could do 5BD by applying a lot of the same principles. When I desperately want to eat, I can just pause, take a moment, remember what I want, get refocused. Think it through. I find that distracting myself is less helpful than really feeling what's going on with myself. Why do I want to eat? If it's not time to eat, or I'm not physically hungry (and again, I'm getting better at differentiating the all day empty feeling vs. actual hunger), then what do I really need? And remind myself, what do I really want?

As I said in an earlier post, once I got very clear about what I wanted - skinny, hot, not just "thinner" or "healthy" - it became much more simplistic. Here's what I want. Here's what I am willing to do.

Snow White:
Thank you so much for your amazing post!

To address what you've said...
Really glad to know the liquid isn't stretching my stomach. I drink A LOT of water, and sometimes I gulp down 20 oz of it at once!!

The reason I am concerned about the skin is because I was at a much higher weight than this a bunch of years ago (270). And because I've been much thinner. And since I got down to around the weight I am now, I have been yo-yo-ing 15-20 lbs over and over and over for the past few years. So, it's already not looking so awesome. But I've decided to take your word for it. And trust. My body is going to look the way it's meant to look. (Though it would be nice to look good naked, not just in clothes!!)

I hear what you're saying about exercising, and I totally respect your view on it. I do get obsessive about exercise as a weight loss tool, but the bottom line for me is, I NEED it. I ENJOY it. I don't have to force myself to do it. I suffer from very serious depression (which I haven't mentioned until now, because I don't like to talk about it), and my brain REQUIRES the activity. Sometimes it's a walk. Today was a dance class. Yesterday I ran a little, but mostly walked. Tomorrow I might put my skates on. I love the time it gives me to just listen to music. It helps me sleep better. I LOVE having a lot of muscle on my body. I am willing to accept that this can mess with my actual weight loss numbers, but I have a body fat scale in my house, and I've started keeping track of that, too.

Which is interesting, because as of right now, the amount of muscle on my body is over 131 pounds!! I know that muscle will come off as a part of this diet - any diet, really - but I'd rather keep as much of that as possible, and ultimately weight in the 150s. Just my personal choice. I'm going to stay open with that, see how it goes...

Yes, I am ALWAYS too hard on myself. Everyone who knows me says this. Ok... now it really must be true, because I don't even know you (yet!) and here you are saying the same thing!! Duly noted! :-) A pound a day is amazing.

**The little bits of extra food did not negatively affect my loss, by the way. I think keeping it protein was helpful**

Really glad the brain fog comes and goes.

I'm so glad you're here, too!!! I'm going to go look at your journal. Reading about others' experiences is VERY helpful, and I, too, want to connect with people who are really in it. I want to see results, and long term results, etc. etc.

Re: the bingeing. Yeah. I have had that issue for many, many years. It's taken me A LOT of work on that, to where it's come down in frequency enough that I can do this diet. Mine is absolutely coming from an emotional/trauma place, but I completely understand the hormonal issues, as well (as I mentioned, I'm dealing with a prolactinoma right now, and I don't tolerate the meds). If you ever want to talk about it more, let me know! Send a pm, etc. Smile


Debbie: Thank you for your continued support. Sometimes, I say to myself, "Yeah, I'm a cancer survivor, so this is nothing! I can do this..." And other times, I say, "I am so exhausted from having so many medical problems. And I'm cranky. I feel like I can't do anymore."

I'm trying to just respect wherever I am.

When all else fails, remember this: "Don't THINK, just DO." Meaning, do what's on the paper. In your life, with the 5 bites. The piece of paper says 5 bites for lunch, 5 bites for dinner. Follow the paper, not your thoughts. (This is not the same as dismissing your feelings.) Your brain will try and talk you out of anything to get what it wants... When my brain tells me that a box of Oreos would be nice right now, I just say, "Thank you brain, but we don't do that anymore." Do it enough times, and your brain starts to take the hint...

Ok. I've written WAY too much, as usual!!

Here's my today, so far, and the plan for the rest of it:

Pre-workout: 2 small bites of 1 medjool date and a small spoon of coconut oil
**I will be seeing how this affects the scale, but I didn't feel comfortable going to an intense dance class on only water
Mid-morning: coffee with half and half
Lunch: 5 bites of Millet bread (free of ALL of my allergies: gluten, soy, corn, egg white) w/ all natural PB and some banana slices
Dinner: 5 bites of a sandwich I've been working on the past couple of days, which is tuna (no mayo) in a spinach

Hoping to not need the extra bite of protein tonight. Will fight to not have it, since I ate the little bit pre-workout.

Lots of water w/ lemon and stevia, as usual!!!

Mini-goal: to drop under 200 lbs when I get to 2 wks. (Even if it's 199.9 - I don't care!)
Other mini-goal: to not weight myself every day, though I may do it tomorrow, just to make sure the morning bites didn't hurt me. I need that information sooner, rather than later.

So glad to connect with you all!!! Will be catching up with your journals and other posts as soon as I can! (Gotta get some work done).

~PK

Note: I didn't go back and edit this, so my apologies for typs or anything else that seems off. Smile

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Quick follow up to earlier post

Post  Pookykat on Wed Jul 18, 2012 8:21 pm

I just wanted to post about something interesting I'm noticing.

I am not craving sugar.

I was always a total sugar junkie. When I would diet in the past, all I would want was sweets, and junk food of the sugary variety. Not so much with 5BD. I am thinking that i may be because I'm really hungry now, and my body is just looking to get fed? Whatever it is, it's pretty cool to notice...


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Day 9: 11.2 pounds gone!

Post  Pookykat on Thu Jul 19, 2012 4:57 pm

Day 9: 205.4
pounds lost since last weight in: 1.2
total pounds lost: 11.2

Quick check in today. I'm glad to know that the extra two bites in the morning did not effect weight loss. I now feel safe having them pre-workout to fuel myself. I want to continue with the exercise, particularly because I don't want to lose any of my muscle. Once I get past the first couple of weeks, I want to be losing only fat. I know that exercise makes me feel good. It's also one of the keys to long term maintenance for me.

I was worried, once again, that my 5 bite dinner made me so full, that I wouldn't lose anything. Whenever that happens, it doesn't seem to hurt my progress. This is all good information to have... I need to stop worrying!!!

And now, I want to do two things:
1. Not weigh myself every day
2. Try to let go of obsessing over this diet and my weight loss.

That means accepting that it works, and just going about my life, trusting in what I'm doing. I don't have to obsess over the results. They'll just happen if I continue to do what I'm doing.

'Tis all for now.

Will catch up with you all when I get a moment; I'm really behind on a lot of life stuff...

~PK

PS - The morning hunger/no breakfast is still REALLY hard for me!!!

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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  ElleBella on Thu Jul 19, 2012 6:56 pm

Wow you are doing so great!!!! 11.2 affraid You have really found your rythm.. Way2go.. bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce

I am also a non daily scale girl.. I go nuts over it.. oh my goodness.. just go nuts.. lol!

Thank you for sharing .. you are so open it is helpful for all.. flower

Happy Thusday!!..

I am so busy with work and visiting I can hardly get on line.. sorry if I am late to post back.

Cheers cheers
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End of week 2/starting week 3

Post  Pookykat on Wed Jul 25, 2012 4:00 pm

Hi all! (And thanks for checking in on me while I was gone Smile )

Where the hell have I been????

Yeah... I haven't posted in a week, and it's been a hard week.

I didn't weight myself last Thursday and Friday, trying to keep with the idea of no daily weigh ins. And when I stepped on the scale Saturday morning - NOTHING. No weight loss at all. It made me so angry and frustrated. I know that it's not weird for the scale to not go down much or at all on week 2, maybe the body is catching up, regulating itself to such a large drop during week 1. But nothing??? Ugh!!! I was frustrated on Saturday. And just so sick of being so hungry. It was one of those bad, toxic things in my head, "Well, if I'm not going to lose weight, then why should I have to suffer being so damn hungry all the time?"

Which was not cool. Especially since I'd had such a lovely morning. It was beautiful out. I took an early morning walk on the beach - one of my favorite things to do - and then did some writing while looking out at the Pacific Ocean.

But in the afternoon, I went to someone's backyard party, and I was with this woman who talks incessantly about weight, and dieting, and bodies (she's really thin), and I can't stand that. Do we have nothing better to talk about at parties? Seriously? There was all of this food, and all I did was have about 3 bites of it. Not bad. But then I went home and completely overdid it. Sad

My first slip on this diet. I was really mad at myself. I kept doing that stupid thing where I said to myself, "Well, I already blew it, so I might as well keep going, the day is a wash, etc."

AARGHHH!!!

The scale popped up 2 pounds. I went up to 207.4. I figured, ok - this is a good learning experience. It will be like when I am in maintenance and have a day where I overdo it, so I just have to 5 bite back down to where I was. So I did. But it took me until this morning to get back down to where I was, at 205.4. Yesterday, I was so completely bloated (stupid elevated prolactin levels!), I was panicked that my weight would just keep shooting up and up and up, and never come down. But I stuck to my 5 bites, nonetheless, and I'm back.

So, no additional weight loss for week 2.

But it's still a weight loss of 11.2 pounds for the first two weeks, which is not exactly terrible.

Starting weight: 216.6 on July 11
Current weight: 205.4
Total weight loss: 11.2 pounds in 2 weeks

I'm going to choose to be happy with that, and keep going. I still have 6 weeks to lose 30 more pounds and hit my first goal of 176.6 (or less) on September 5.

During this week, I did have my body analyzed, you know, with fat percentages vs. lean body mass, etc. This has given me a realistic goal weight of 145 pounds. Because of my muscle mass, getting down to 135 or 118 would mean I'd either have to lose muscle - not a good idea - or get unrealistically leaned out. I'm not an athlete. 145 pounds, however, will put me at a nice fit/lean/low side of average 22% body fat, and still keep me in the normal BMI range. That is nice. I can live with that. 60.4 pounds to go!!!!! I'm looking to accomplish that by the end of the year, which gives me over 5 months. More than reasonable, at 12 pounds per month (average).

I am adamant about doing weight training right now at higher reps and lower weights to keep the muscle I have. I'm not looking to make gains there, just to maintain and keep those muscles strong and functioning well. Plus, doing that will amp up my metabolism. And I really like having lots of muscle on my body. I like how it looks, I like how it feels. If I wind up making gains (since my body loves to put on muscle weight as much as it likes to put on fat weight), I'll just adjust my goal weight number up accordingly. I'm off to join a new gym right now, as soon as I'm done posting this...

Glad to be back - I felt so lost and out of control. The hunger sucks, but as long as I keep seeing the changes on the scale and in my clothes I can keep going. It's when I DON'T that is throws me off so badly...

How are you all doing?


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exercise and 5BD

Post  Pookykat on Wed Jul 25, 2012 4:27 pm

I forgot to add this one thing:

I'm being kind of adamant about the weight training/keeping up the muscle after doing a bunch of research about it this weekend. (My day job is all about research, so I just sort of naturally fall into doing that about everything!!)

I'm sorry I didn't write down the sites or studies so I can quote actual facts and data, but I was reading a lot about what the wisdom is out there about VLC diets.

There is quite a bit of research to corroborate what we're doing. That VLC diets, in the short term, are very effective, and not dangerous to the body and metabolism. Again, so long as it's in the short term, and you are just doing it to reset your body and get the weight off. The body will use its fat stores after it goes through the sugar, then whatever is being stored in the liver. And also, so long as you are very careful to use this as a jumpstart to change how you eat for the longterm, and don't go back to eating the same huge amounts we did in the past.

Ok. We know all of that stuff.

I was then reading about the effect of exercise when on a VLC. There were studies done of a few groups: no exercise, those who only did weight training, and those who only did cardio. I don't remember the results of the group who did no exercise, because I wasn't looking for that. However, they found that the group who only did the weight training lost more weight overall than the group who did the cardio. Their conclusions were that when you are putting the body on such low calories, keeping up the muscle strength was necessary for metabolism, particularly long term. (Nobody was bodybuilding and trying to make large gains in mass.)

It made me feel confident to go forth and workout. Strength training, full body workout every other day.

Cardio can be every day, as long as we're rethinking cardio. It's not about jumping around in a high intensity class. Going for an easy walk for an hour is great because it gets everything moving, it's good for your head, for stress, and in the moment - for me - it can curb my hunger. Prevents bone loss, keeps up cognitive function. It's just about not being a couch potato, especially because I sit for work all day. Walking (or, for me, roller skating) has so many benefits beyond just weight loss, so I need to do it.

And I feel really good that I have found studies to back up my need/desire to workout, that it won't mess up my 5BD!!!

Wanted to post, in case anyone was interested in exercise + 5BD besides me. Smile

Have a great day, everyone!

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What a Great Post on VLC and 5 Bite and Exercise!

Post  16Again on Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:06 am

Hey there!

You write like I do. Like a paraphrase of the FedEx motto... "When it absolutely, positively has to be [written before I close this post]...." Bravo.

I'd love to rap (tho' not "hip-hop") with you about VLC and 5 Biting and Exercise.

Question: Did you get a chance to sign-up with that gym? If so, well, cool. If NOT, hmm, I have a suggestion. But I'll wait for your answer before spouting off.

I'm a Big Believer in Ultra-Low Carbing, though sometimes a poor practitioner (kinda' exactly how I am with "religion," as well Rolling Eyes ).

So I wonder if, in your research, you've stumbled across the internet wisdom & ramblings of Owsley "The Bear" Stanley, and his 50 Years of living Completely Carnivorously (that's Zero Plant ingestion). He was kind of a lovable, cantankerous old guy who didn't suffer fools gladly (but then, who does?).

For a simple taste, if you're interested, check this Link: The Zero Carb Path

If that whets your whistle, a MUCH LONGER and COMPREHENSIVE collection of postings (when I "copied & pasted" the whole thing into a Word document -- single spaced, 12 point font -- it came to 200+ pages, if I recall) can be found here: "The Bear" on Active No Carber. Since he's answering questions, he does, at times, repeat things -- but always with a slightly different slant. He also goes into resistance training over cardio for carnivores. cheers

I'd also like to talk with you about your research on bone-loss/retention and muscle-loss/retention and body-fat %s. I'm afraid my laptop's battery is signalling me to sign-off though. But let's definitely pick this up later.

Blessings,

Marc
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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  Pookykat on Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:58 am

Hey Marc,

Thanks for your post. I appreciate all of the support and enthusiasm for my very obsessive brain, and my verbosity/prolific writing! My brain is almost always firing on all cylinders...

To respond to what you've said: I'm on a 3 day trial pass at the gym.

Re: low & ultra-low carb.

I think we have a bit of a miscommunication. When I said, "VLC," I meant "Very Low Calorie." That was the research I was quoting. Sorry if that confused things a bit!

Regardless, thank you so much for the recommendations, but... My body doesn't like low carb. And... I don't like it. I'm not a meat eater, which makes it rather challenging. I vacillate from vegetarian w/ occasional fish/seafood ('cause I love sushi), to hardcore vegan. Ok, not perfectly hardcore, because I always put half and half in my coffee. Smile

I did an ultra low carb plan, not quite two years ago, and I gained a TON of weight. At first, yes, you could say it was because I was eating a ton of food and higher fat/calories than I was previously, but eventually, I wasn't eating a ton of food. I totally lost my appetite. I went loooong stretches with no food at all. And I still didn't lose weight, even when I was barely eating. Plus, I was carrying the weight I'd gained. I became severely hypoglycemic, had bad arrhythmia, night sweats, brain fog, fatigue, shakes, etc., AND my cholesterol shot up - I'd never had a high cholesterol problem before (maybe because I've never been a meat eater, even when I was a child - I refused it when my mom served it for dinner, because I just never liked it!!). As soon as I finally gave up (it took awhile, because everyone - including my doctor - was telling me I had to go low carb), and went back to vegan/vegetarian, I dropped the weight I'd gained, my cholesterol went back down, and all of the bad symptoms went away. I could function again.

I know it works great for other people, but my body and brain are happiest when I'm 95% - 100% plant based, and when I'm respectful of my food allergies (soy, wheat/gluten, egg white, corn, a couple of tropical fruits).

This is just my personal experience. Everyone is unique, and if low carb works for you, then I say great!!

Too many parenthesis in this post. Ugh. Sorry. It's just 'cause I'm tired and my brain isn't finding more concise ways of communicating. Razz

Anyway, I'd be happy to share what I know about exercise/body fat, etc. Drop me a note anytime...

Best,
~PK

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quick update

Post  Pookykat on Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:10 am

Ha! Of course, I'm adding stuff to what I just wrote!!

Marc: I just checked out your journal, and saw your post about exercise. I am ALL ABOUT using body weight and functional movement. I think it is AWESOME and absolutely my goal! The thing about me is... I need to go somewhere to do it. Yes, sad but true. I can get my ass to the beach for a nice walk - so long as the gray marine layer burns off in the morning - but I can't get my strength training to happen at home. So off to the gym I go!

Maybe it's because I work out of a home office (day job) or studio (musician)?

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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  mommieof2 on Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:16 pm

PookyKat, Welcome to the forum. I just finished reading your journal and I feel like we are kindred spirits.. I'm not 5'7 I'm only 5'2 but I do have a lot of muscle and I to can not do low carb, I tried that challenge I suggested and it was not very easy for me. I mostly eat chicken, with an occasional beef once a month or so but the rest is veggies or carbs.. Snow white and I have talked about the exercise and I'm one that needs it, whether it be running, walking, push ups, planks or skipping rope. I have a pretty bad anxiety disorder and had a bout with depression about two years ago do to some things happening in my marriage. I've been on Wellbutrin on and off(due to weaning myself) I start to feel better then once the medicine completely leaves my system I end up back in the same anxious state. I have found it's better to remain on the medication than to not. It's not so much for depression now mostly for the anxiety.

Exercising I have found that if I'm going to exercise I might eat a bit more than 5 bites that do due to the over whelming hunger. If you think about it(no research done here) you will burn those extra calories anyway when you exercise and still equal out to your 5 bite calories.(2 snickers= around 580 calories) that's what I'm talking about when I say 5 bite calories. I have found if I do not walk or run I have a bit more stress that day and have a hard time dealing with situations around my home. When I do weight training it is mostly body weight ie. push ups, plank jack, mountain climbers, wall sits and sit ups. I find working with weights right now really is hard for me..

Water-- is your best friend it actually helps in the elasticity of your skin as well. Snow is right we did have this conversation in her thread. If you were blessed with good skin you will be fine and drinking your water helps. If you look at yourself you skin will have more of a glow while drinking water..


Weight loss-- YOU are do AWESOME!!! Do not under mind your weight loss that's 5lbs a week verse 2lbs a week on most other diets. You keep up the good work and do not let your mind get the best of you..

My highest weight was 253lbs and that was when I was preggers with my oldest daughter. I have not went past 211 since then and you will see that I started at 206 which was after a week of dieting to reach the 206 from 211 so since the so in 2months I have lost 24.6lbs so that's around 12lbs a month verses4-8lbs a month on other diets, mind you this is while cheating on this diet as well. If I were to be really strict I would probably be at my goal weight by the end of Aug.

Just keep up the good work and you will reap the rewards...
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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

Post  Pookykat on Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:23 pm

Thanks, Mommie!

Just doing a quick check in; busy day, don't have time to more thoughtfully reply to your post right now. Will hopefully get a moment later.

Here's the current stats:

Day 16:
Current weight: 204.4 pounds
Yesterday's weight: 205.4 pounds
Weight lost since yesterday: 1 pound

Total weight loss: 12.2 pounds

Yay!

I was on a strict 5 bite yesterday, and it paid off. No exercise yesterday (for all of my posting about working out... Razz )

Yesterdays' food:
no breakfast
giant decaf coffee with half & half

lunch: 5 bites of tuna (no mayo) with veggies on a spinach wrap
dinner: 5 bites of all natural (no sugar/chemicals) peanut butter on millet bread with some banana slices

The banana triggered my allergies; it happens a lot with the more tropical fruits. I often forget that banana is one, and that I sometimes get tingly lips and difficulty breathing from it. So will be staying off of that.

Lots of water with lemon juice and stevia, as usual. I probably push close to a gallon of water a day.

'Tis all... hopefully will keep up this rate of weight loss and be down in the 190s by the second half of next week. Can't wait!! And can't wait to get past the 20 pound mark!

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OH!!!... Very Low "C"ALORIES...

Post  16Again on Thu Jul 26, 2012 6:54 pm

My Bad Twisted Evil (As Mae West would say, "When I'm Bad, I'm even Better.")

Yeah, in the Low Carb world, VLC stands for Very Low "C"arbs. I can only imagine how difficult getting protein would be for a vegan, especially when you have an allergy to SOY. I understand you took to eating meat, but if it took you away from foods you think of as "FOOD" (or even just severely limited them), I can understand how the body might rebel.

I'm a firm subscriber to the idea that every individual has his or her own "right process." Good on you for finding yours. It cranks me up when others (authors, M.D.s, nutritionists, Bloggers, et al) think they have the One, Surefire, Ancient, Modern, "Minus"ing-One-Macronutrient, Fix-all for everyone. That's why THIS diet makes so much sense to me. We can do it with ANY foods that work in harmony with our gut-(pun, intended)-instincts.

So, though "roller-skates" and "roller-blades" are different, we can happily be all "on-a-Roll!!" together, on the same sea-side concrete ribbon.

And, yes, I was going to talk about "Body Weight Resistance." I understand Getting Into The Gym. Doing what we Must helps us Do All We Can. So Enjoy!!

cheers cheers cheers cheers

Now, about Bone and Muscle, just One thought (or, better said, the culmination of many thoughts) that I'm in the process of "Logic"-ing out. We gain Bone and Muscle tissue while we're getting Fat. It's the Body's Natural Response so that we remain structurally sound. "Just Enough" muscle to move the extra weight. "Just Enough" bone-gain as well, to support the added mass.

I'm just positing that we can Expect to Lose "some" muscle tissue and "some" bone tissue, during the Body's Natural Replicating of Cells (the Body continuously "reads" us, and Reproduces ONLY what's Required). This isn't "Wasting" in the sense of osteoporosis or atrophy. And I don't imagine it would be a bad thing.

When I reach my Goal BMI of 18.5 (132 lbs.)-- nearly HALF of what I started with on this weight loss journey(260 Pounds, four years ago), I won't be NEEDING the Bone Mass that it took to support Double my "New Weight". Nor will the overabundance of slow-twitch muscle fibers, that kept me glued to my frame, be required. Thus I fully expect some of that muscle to be gone at the end of this process, too; even as I'm working my butt-off to strengthen all I have. Again, not a bad thing.

So, trying to see all this from a long-term -- Now, when I weighed 217 lbs., this past June, I HAD 18 Pounds of bone, and 105 Pounds of muscle (and 30 pounds for the organs, including "skin") which is ALL TRUE -- I had 64 POUNDS of Fat (not all of it excess -- 13.2 pounds of it will remain, if I get to 10% Body Fat).

When I get to a BMI of 18.5, at 132 lbs, I'll have to have lost 85 Pounds. That's More than All the fat I started with. Now some will be Water for sure. I won't need to retain so much (in the muscles, bones, organs, and fat tissue) to maintain homeostasis. This of course will make all of them lighter.

It's just that as we lose fat, we may (and would have to) lose Some of the Mass from other tissues, but that is ONLY the stuff we needed to ADD to support our Greater-Than-Necessary Girth.

Our Bones will be "Stronger," our Muscles will be "Stronger," our Organs will be "Stronger," even our Fat will be "Stronger." ALL of it "Stronger" and "Lighter," like a whole new metal-alloy that's "Stronger" yet "Lighter" than Steel. From That Point, (and, indeed, throughout the process) any gains we make in Muscle Tissue with resistance training, will cause us to Spare our Bone Mass. But everything gets streamlined.

Anyway, I haven't read this anywhere else, so I have no citations to back it all up. Just me "thinkin'."

I'd Love to hear what this makes you think! Shocked

Blessings,

Marc
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Re: Pookykat's Journal; documenting the 5 bite experience

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