Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

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Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  kizzykay on Sun Feb 19, 2012 3:34 am

So starting tomorrow, I will be restarting the 5BD. It's hard to believe that just 3 months ago, I had said the exact same thing. I could have been 40 pounds down by now probably! But anyways, to be honest I do need a lot of psychological help, in terms of my binge eating. There is obviously a reason why I seek out food more than anything/anyone. I think it has a lot to do with living at home with my parents. When I lived on my own, I was able to do whatever diet...but all I know is that this weight has GOT to come off! I am going on vacation in May (to Cuba) and I need to feel comfortable enough to wear a bathing suit. Not only that but I want to be able to enjoy summers and not be the fat girl covered up in sweaters and jeans. Well anyways, I don't know exactly where to go to find help (preferably on the cheap), but I know that I am going to start by re-reading the 5BD book. Hopefully that will give me some much needed inspiration Smile

Edit: Starting weight is 234


Last edited by kizzykay on Sun Feb 19, 2012 4:07 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Forgot weight!)

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  Dmac on Sun Feb 19, 2012 4:05 am

I binge eat as well this is the only diet that drops the weight fast enough to make up for how fast I can put it on do your best to get right back on the diet after a binge
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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  kizzykay on Sun Feb 19, 2012 3:57 pm

Thanks for replying Dmac!! It helps keep me accountable if I know someone's actually there lol

Anyways, for the first week or so I might be writing in here more than once a day. I'm trying to deflect myself or keep myself busy whenever I feel a binge or crazy craving coming on. I'm also trying to figure out what my binge triggers are and ways to combat them before they manifest. I know for sure one is when I talk to my parents about money. I am a recently graduated teacher, but I haven't been able to find a teaching job so I basically depend on my parents to to take care of me (I'm 23). It makes me feel inadequate....which makes me feel depressed...which leads to binging! But I'm working on it! So far today I've just had a cup of coffee with a french vanilla splenda (these things are amazing!!).

Eaten today:
B- cup of coffee with french vanilla splenda
L- 5 bites of a SPAM sandwich...I hate spam but we had nothing else so I caved LOL

* so right now I'm staring at the remnants of my spam sandwich after I've eaten my 5 bites. Most people would say to throw it out, but I'm trying to test my obedience by keeping it here. So far I'm amazed at how quickly I felt satisfied (not full) after eating my lunch. I was starving before I ate and then after eating a drinking a bit of water, I'm actually comfortable. I'm making my to do list to keep myself nice and occupied until church tonight! LOL


Last edited by kizzykay on Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:14 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : adding thoughts throughout the day)

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  Lexif424 on Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:19 pm

ok we are going to do this..together. I started this diet 3 months ago as well and I am kicking myself for ruining it over the holidays, then never getting back into it. you are my new accountability partner and I will keep you motivated if you keep me motivated.
I need to lose the weight because I have pcos. which makes it harder to loose weight and harder to get pregnant (something my husband and I so desperately want) I have been told repeatedly that if i drop the weight I will have better success. Now I need to more than ever. My brother in law and his wife announced yesterday that they are expecting their second and as happy as i am for them, I am miserable for myself and broke down on the way home last night

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  pinklipstick on Mon Feb 20, 2012 1:08 pm

Lexi I hope we can motivate each other too I don't have PCOS but I am obese at 5'8 and 18 st 2 (I should weigh about 10 st) and I'm also 38 years young my partner and I cant try for a baby yet as he is a full time university student at the moment but we are hoping that when he graduates in the summer he will find a decent job which will enable us to live together as a family - me, myself and my daughter from my first marriage - and try for long awaited baby number 2.....keep your fingers crossed for me....and I will for you too (((((Lexi))))) Smile

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  spryng on Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:21 pm

I am right there with you all! This past week I went off the plan completely, I was just so burned out from doing it for over 6 months solid, I'm sure I gained some, I'll check tomorrow for the actual number but I'm ready to just commit again and finish ripping this darn band aid off and being done with it for good. So here is to getting back on plan and looking great this summer!!!! Smile
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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  kizzykay on Tue Feb 21, 2012 10:15 pm

Hey all!!

Thank you for writing! It is very inspiring. I'm starting off slowly with this...some of the eating disorder stuff I've looked at said not to switch routines drastically or it could be triggering. That probably explains why every time I've tried to do this diet strict, I ended up binging on the same day for absolutely no reason. So I'm easing myself in. I'm starting off with using a bowl that only holds a cup to eat out of and I'm eating 3 times a day. Then I'm going to cut out breakfast and still eat lunch and dinner with the same bowl. Then I'm going to eat half the serving in the bowl and eventually eat 5 bites. I know this seems exaggerated, but as it was explained to me, people with eating disorders have their set routine which is simple for them. For me, eating until I was uncomfortable was my routine and although I was steadily gaining weight, it was a simple routine and I was comfortable with it. My friend who battled anorexia had a routine that involved eating certain foods per day (safe foods) and although she was hospitalized many times, it was her simple routine and she didn't see a reason to change it...welcome to our twisted minds Smile What happens is we follow these routines so much that they become second nature to us and quite often becomes our safety net. So when doing a new diet or eating plan, obviously the easiest thing would be to fall back on our safety net. That is why, as suggested, I'm going to modify what is my safety net little by little and train myself to adapt to a different lifestyle Very Happy

Hope you all are doing amazing!!

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  pinklipstick on Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:19 am

everything you say makes perfect sense to me kizzykay as a former anorexic turned binge eater myself Sad I think you are right, small changes and baby steps is the way forward, don't put yourself under any pressure, and slowly but surely you will get there Smile I wish you the very best of luck Smile how much weight do you have to lose?

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  spryng on Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:47 pm

I think your plan sounds great! 3 cups of food a day is still going to result in weight loss and then as you lower that amount of food it will just keep the weightloss coming so you are on the right track for sure Smile
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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  kizzykay on Mon Feb 27, 2012 2:07 am

Thanks for the comments gals!

I will be completely honest in saying this week I bombed. No excuse...I'm just moving forward!

@Pinklipstick, according to the 5BD book, I have 130 pounds to lose. But I don't want to be 105 pounds to be honest, so I'm setting a goal of 160 pounds (or 70 pounds to lose) to begin with and then when I get there, I'll see if I want to lose more.

But as of right now, I'm breaking it down into 10 pound goals. I need to start working on ways of distracting myself when I feel like cheating...thats my homework for the week LOL

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  pinklipstick on Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:48 am

Best of luck and here's to a good five bites diet week for all of us! Smile

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hi

Post  Snow White on Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:36 am

I am also managing my weight loss in 10 pound increments and think that is wise if you have a lot of weight to lose as I do. About the homework you mentioned...here is what I have been doing for the last couple of days: sitting with the feeling of wanting to eat and not eating and waking up the next morning a stronger person. Denying yourself builds character and I have never had a lot of character when it comes to food, it was my weakness. I am truly working on this now. It is a real personal growth process for me.
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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  kizzykay on Sun Jul 22, 2012 3:15 pm

K, I'm resurrecting this journal again...I hope this will be the last time I have to say I'm restarting!

But something I don't think I mentioned to everyone the first time I did this was that I have struggled with disordered eating for a pretty long time. Some times I can do days without even wanting to eat but as I've gotten older and finished university (I'm 23), I've just slipped into this routine of eating basically for no reason. And I'm a big emotional eater. So anyways, recently I read an article (well a few actually) that said that people who methodically overeat can be compared to those who take drugs because of the same neural pathways that light up when both food or drugs (cocaine) are taken....WOAH. So in order to treat a drug addiction most drug addicts usually quit cold turkey...so for a food addict I'm assuming the same approach in combination with therapy would be effective. Which is why I think this diet could be my saving grace...if I could just stick with it Sad

Anyways I've officially restarted today (after unofficially starting and restarting for the past 3 days haha).

So far I've had a cup of coffee Smile I feel ok right now but its really the night time where it's gets super difficult. Any tips are welcome Smile

Food for today:

B- Coffee
L- 6 ish bites of egg salad
D- 7 bites of ribs, mango, mac and cheese (not mixed together of course haha)

I didn't do 5 bites exactly, but I'm pretty proud of myself for consciously stopping at 6 or 7 bites and realizing that, indeed, the last bite was exactly the same taste as the first. So, I can only get better from here Smile


Last edited by kizzykay on Mon Jul 23, 2012 2:30 am; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  ElleBella on Sun Jul 22, 2012 9:10 pm

Good for you for coming back and facing your demonds.. You are going to figure this out.. maybe for the first while you should eat more protien to keep you fuller longer?? Good luck! bounce
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A Couple Thoughts...

Post  16Again on Tue Jul 24, 2012 1:50 am

Hi kizzykay,

First of all, Good On You for grabbing "the elephant in the living room" by the tusks.

I'd like to "pipe-in" on a few of your observations, if I may.

Quitting "cold turkey" (as in forEVER) is often too scary a commitment for any Addict. The Most Successful anti-addiction program in history (Alcoholics Anonymous) asks their members to only commit to "One Day At a Time." So upon arising they will say something like "Today, Just For Today, I will not take a drink." And they follow through with this every day.

OUR waking mantra CANNOT EXCLUDE food. So we might be smart to say, "Today, Just For Today, I will eat NO BREAKFAST, and ONLY 5 BITES at lunch and ONLY 5 BITES at dinner." Then we leave it at that and Live-By-It, "just for today."

The thing about both drugs and food is that because they give us "pleasure" we think "More would be Better!!" And after "just enough" isn't "enough" anymore, we think "More is Actually REQUIRED."

But look at it this way: Non-Prescribed Drugs are Extra-Chemical Structures and, to be rid of them is a "good riddance." After a few days or weeks, they're out of our system. Our employers could take urine samples and find nothing.

We, the over-eaters, require no drug tests to let the world in on OUR addiction (and this includes the physical/structural breakdowns in the "skinny" eating-disordered folks, too).

That said, you talk about the "neural pathways." I'm thinking that what you read was talking about these paths, leading to the "Pleasure Centers" of our brains. Well, what Doc Lewis says about the "Hungerstat" is just as true. 5 Bites is ALL IT TAKES for the Pleasure Center to register.

So we should make those 5 Bites as PLEASURABLE, as LUXURIANT, as DECADENT and GLORIOUS as POSSIBLE at EVERY MEAL. So like, why eat hamburger, when 5 Bites of a $10.00 Steak would cost $2.00 a meal? Why eat boiled broccoli alone, when a Bite with Hollandaise Sauce takes up the same amount of space in a Bite? Why eat an Oreo when you could eat fudge?

I'm just saying, Give those Pleasure Centers something to write-home about to the hypothalamus and pituitary. Let your Brain SING!!! Discover what the French know, (without the Stupid Prices) that JUST ENOUGH of the BEST satisfies Way Better than TOO MUCH of BARELY DIGESTIBLE.

Just my $0.02. (Alright. Alright! $0.58.) I do write too much.

Blessings,

Marc

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  kizzykay on Tue Jul 24, 2012 8:16 pm

Marc thank you so much!!! That was definitely worth the $0.58 Smile. I think I'm gonna use that mantra from now on! Yesterday was ok, until I got home, then all hell broke loose haha. Actually it wasnt so bad but I didn't stick perfectly to 5 bites. Today has been great! I had a big cup of coffee for breakfast, 5 bites of greek yogurt mixed with jam for lunch and right now I'm drinking a cup of chicken broth with hot sauce (I love anything hot Smile). Tomorrow is my dad's birthday and he wants to eat at Mandarin (the buffet), only God knows why haha. I'm not gonna freak out about it because I know that I'm getting stronger every day and I'm actually more aware of what I'm eating. So I think this will be a great outing. And then I can just continue 5 bites on Thursday.

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Re: Restarting...I need this to be the final last time...for real :)

Post  16Again on Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:16 pm

Hi Kizzykay,

I'm glad the mantra struck a proper note for you.

Now I know you didn't ask for any advice (and "unasked for" Advice usually SUCKS). I wouldn't think of telling you what To Do. But if it's not too intrusive, I'd like to share my strategies for handling Buffets on this Diet.

First, I think about going through the first three days of Hungerstat adjustment. ("Do I want to do THAT again?)

Second, since we'd never choose a Buffet on this diet, it's usually someone else's suggestion (and desire)... We'd only go because we LOVE that "someone else." Well, like the sober AA members we just discussed, sometimes "entertaining clients" for business takes them into bars, or they wind up at parties where alcohol is served. What to DO? They have a plan/strategy in place: "I'll have a Club Soda, please (or diet coke, etc.)." They stick to their "Just for Today...," no matter where, when, or why.

In the same way, I go in to a Buffet Restaurant and order something I LOVE from the appetizers, instead of opting for the buffet (it's cheaper than ordering a "buffet plate" and feeling like you're wasting money): for Chinese, I get Egg Rolls or Pot Stickers and Dunk 5 Bites worth in the really Hot Mustard (I'm like you on HOT stuff) or other sauces. I also eat only when everyone else eating. I make a SHOW of how much I like what I'm eating so people notice I'm actually putting real food in my mouth

After FIVE Bites, I offer "the rest" to everyone else at the table. If they don't want it, I throw my napkin on it and say, "Well, I'm full." And I drink the tea.

Of course they'll turn around and say, "Oh, you've Got To try THIS." To which I reply, "Seriously, I could fit more in, but I'm really Full / Not Hungry. I just Couldn't. But THANKS." ... Then, immediately change the conversation to how their day was, have they heard from (?), who's house are we going to, for the next holiday? Anything.

The trick is, to BE DELIGHTFUL COMPANY (which I can tell you would be, by how you write).

And last, this is probably a delicate subject for you, and you can always tell me to "Shut-Up" or whatever, but since this is "Family" and they probably have some inkling of what you call your history of "disordered eating," make sure if you have to go to the restroom, somebody goes with you (you Ladies do this all the time -- us guys, we're stumped). Just ease their minds that there's no "purging" involved. I've probably over-stepped. If so, I'm really sorry.

You'll feel MOST Successful, at the end of the evening, if no one guesses you're "dieting."

You Might try this. Or just store the info for some future time.

Whatever you choose, Have A Blast!!! And Happy Birthday to your Dad!!

Blessings,

Marc
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