Weight Issue Confessions..

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Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  3jaysmom on Thu May 06, 2010 1:26 pm

O.K, seems random, but I don't really talk about my weight issues frankly with ANYONE. My husband knows I put on 75 pounds "from the kids", and I'm trying to lose it by working out and eating right (I'm over 25% there, yay!) But, he doesn't know the struggle I go through. He's supportive, but clueless. He thinks its no big deal, because he's never had to deal with it. I kind of talk to my sister about it, but she has always been heavier than me, so I think deep down she kind of enjoys that I've gotten "so fat" over the past 6-7 years.

So, it leads me to this, the people on this forum are the only people I can HONESTLY share my weight trials and tribulations with. So, I think this is an area where people can vent if they need to. I try to keep it positive, but sometimes I feel like I need to get something off my chest. So, this is my "weight issue confession" sounds so daunting...

All my life, I never new what I weighed, but was obssessed with my measurements. I HAD to be 36-24-36 (I actually could never get that last 36, I was always close to 37-36.5) I never dieted, but worked out like crazy to keep it as close to "ideal" as possible. Once I had kids, all the measuring stuff went down the drain. Who wants to find out they are 50-50-50, right?! So after working out for a year (and not losing weight, btw) and then just losing 20+ pounds from 5bite, I decided to get out the old measuring tape, and doing it again. 49-37-49.5. I had a split second when I was like, YAY, the working out kept my proportion! Followed by the depressing reality that I have 13+ INCHES to lose off the circumference of MY ENTIRE BODY. For some reason, this is making me more upset than a number on the scale. I am more than one foot too large horizontally. I have so much work to do. It sucks. I cant believe I let it get to this, especially scince I lost whe weight after my 2nd child. Why didn't I try harder to get it off 3 years ago with my last child? Why did I work out without trying anything else for sooo long? Why did I waste so much time being FAT?

That feels so much better to say it "out loud". I 'm sorry this was so long, but thanks for listening, please share anything that might be hard to share with anyone else, it really helps. really "lifts a weight" off you shoulders (and hopefully everywhere else, lol)

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I Like this IDEA A LOT!!!

Post  Phil on Sun May 09, 2010 6:29 am

I really LOVE this idea 3jaysmom... I'm sure everyone needs to vent every now and then and I will defiantly be using this topic lol...

I think that you being upset is natural but i don't think beating yourself up over it is going to do you ANY good what's so ever...

Instead of thinking of it as one big task break it down into mini goals!

As for the hubby... At least he is supportive... even though he doesn't know what it feels like to have to lose weight...

Hang in there and know we're supporting you and each other Smile

Stay Strong

ALSO HAPPY MOTHERS DAY Very Happy
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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  3jaysmom on Mon May 10, 2010 1:18 pm

Phil, you are the best! That was a very bad day for me, and its funny, I felt so much better after writing it that I was going to delete it, because I thought it sounded so stupid and whiny, but it was the truth and not everyone feels great all the time, you know? I hope others feel that they can share their lows (and get support from us) as well as the "highs"

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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  maskrene on Mon May 24, 2010 3:04 am

hey you know what's funny.. We are thinking of having kids in 1 year and honestly I'm scared to put on all the weight and never loosing it ;( keep posting and I think the 5 bites will restore your stomach to regular size and you will have easier time loosing the extra weight Wink

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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  Jenny P. on Mon May 24, 2010 3:33 am

I have had the same fear. My husband and I don't have kids yet and I am not at my ideal weight but the idea of what having babies could do to my body has me really worried. I am worried I will finally get to my ideal weight then get pregnant and have to start all over. Thats probably really superficial, I'm sorry if it is.
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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  Phil on Fri May 28, 2010 1:14 pm

Jenny I'm sure deep down that's not the only reason, even though that might the only one that is playing on ur mind Smile kids are a huge responsibility and both u and ur husband need to be in the right mindset before u make a huge decision...

Just giving my opinion but why not lose the weight enjoy it for a while then have kids that way IF u do gain weight u know for sure u would be able to lose it and also have a goal to work towards!
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Re: Weight issue confessions..

Post  vicky on Fri May 28, 2010 2:15 pm

Being able to start a family is an amazing thing and I guess in my opinion, it would make me a lot happier than mourning over what it has done to my body. It's probably scary and all, thinking of all the possibilities of after the pregnancy, but keep in mind that our bodies don't stay that way forever.

In addition to that, at least you'll be busy looking after the baby Smile
So while you're busy looking after the baby, you'll forget about eating and therefore it would possibly be a little easier to lose those pounds Very Happy

I guess everyone is different in their mindset so the idea of starting a family would be different in everyone's opinion but I reckon its an amazingly wonderful thing.
Hehe, that's my opinion for now ^^

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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  Jenny P. on Fri May 28, 2010 3:21 pm

You guys are right having kids someday will be wonderful. Just not for a couple years Smile
Party last night was fun but i ate like 13 chocolate covered strawberries ha ha ha, if you are going to go off that is the way to do it. But this morning i was up to 186 from 184 oops. I have one more dinner obligation then I will get down to 182 for mondays weigh in....
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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  vicky on Fri May 28, 2010 11:06 pm

ohh, yummm ! chocolate covered strawberries are the best Very Happy

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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  Brighteyes1385 on Sat May 29, 2010 1:49 am

Jealous!!! Chocolate covered strawberries are SO yummy!!! Very Happy

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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  3jaysmom on Wed Jun 02, 2010 9:22 pm

To everyone worried about "baby weight" I feel bad, because I don't want you to think that you will gain 75 lbs like me, most only gain 30 or so. I just had to be on bedrest from some complications from the pregnancy,, so I think the fact that I couldn't move around is what contributed to the HUGE gain. All I know is,you can definitely eat while on bed rest, and I sure as hell did!!

Having kids DOES change your body forever, though. It's hard to see the celebrities on magazines 6 weeks after having a baby (and a tummy tuck, I'm sure) looking like they never had any kids. It's just not reality. When I lost the weight after my second child, the weight was off, but my body was different. You just have to realize that you cant "get back" to your prepregnancy ideal, and you have to just create a new ideal for yourself. I still struggle with my "new" body all the time, hell, I started this thread with all my whining!

With all that said, kids are obviously worth every bit of it, and they love you no matter what your size......my 7 year old told me that I looked beautifull the other day, and it was so sweet and genuine, it made me forget all the body issue stuff. Kids are the best. When you are ready, that is!!

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Facebook Sucks!!!

Post  3jaysmom on Tue Jul 06, 2010 9:23 pm

I've been blowing up the forum lately! So much to say.....so, I've lost 40 pounds so far, and have been feeling pretty good. Bought some new clothes, took a few compiments, all that stuff. At our party, we went out on the boat and hooked up the waterskis and had a blast. well, this morning I wake up and my friend had posted like 50 pics on facebook, and I was unfortunately in most of them, I looked so awfull, I spent an hour untagging. I need to readjust my goal. I thought I was only 20 pounds to goal, but after seeing the pictures, I know I need to lose WAAAY more. I think I need to lose another 20, making it 40 more. At first I thought I would be happy losing most of the weight I had gained in the last pregnancy, but now that I am getting closer, I feel like I need so much more. There is no reason I cant get this off in the next few months, its not like I'm trying to be a size 0 or anything, I just want to not be a chubster anymore. I'm ready to stop being a typical, out of shape, chubby pta mom. I just want to feel like a "person". Its so crappy that weight controlls my feelings of "self" like this. I'm just bummed about those friggin pictutes. Reality checks suck. Crying or Very sad Pity Party is over for the day

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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  rubywong on Wed Aug 04, 2010 10:26 pm

I hear you on the Facebook sucking part! I don't like to take pictures anymore because of Facebook. Never know what pictures will end up being posted.
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Weight Remarks from People..

Post  Lyra on Mon Oct 04, 2010 4:02 am

I just find this thread because I want to post something regarding "weight remarks". Those remarks can be annoying and they can mess up with your mood.

On my dental surgery day, Sept 29, my BF was sitting next to the dental office worker (she's heavy set) and she mentioned that "Lyra used to be so skinny with a great body"
And to my surprise, BF answered her "I know that and I still love her no matter what."

The dental girl was quiet. Perhaps she didn't expect such a response. However, it made me slightly uncomfortable to know that people especially women do really strongly pay attention to a fellow woman's weight fluctuation.

I've gained 20-25 lbs since my "great body" weight days..
Although most of my old clothes still fit and the difference is quite slight (according to my eyes LOL) but people do notice it sharply.
It's such a surprise to know how people can be overly sharply critical on your appearance.

I can't wait to fully recover from my tooth surgery so I can get back on 5BD full gear!
Let's all support each other because the battle is not easy! Hugs & strength to everyone, Lyra

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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  Morticia on Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:49 am

Lyra wrote:I just find this thread because I want to post something regarding "weight remarks". Those remarks can be annoying and they can mess up with your mood.

On my dental surgery day, Sept 29, my BF was sitting next to the dental office worker (she's heavy set) and she mentioned that "Lyra used to be so skinny with a great body"
And to my surprise, BF answered her "I know that and I still love her no matter what."

The dental girl was quiet. Perhaps she didn't expect such a response. However, it made me slightly uncomfortable to know that people especially women do really strongly pay attention to a fellow woman's weight fluctuation.

I've gained 20-25 lbs since my "great body" weight days..
Although most of my old clothes still fit and the difference is quite slight (according to my eyes LOL) but people do notice it sharply.
It's such a surprise to know how people can be overly sharply critical on your appearance.

I can't wait to fully recover from my tooth surgery so I can get back on 5BD full gear!
Let's all support each other because the battle is not easy! Hugs & strength to everyone, Lyra


Awww, that's so messed up. Thinking like that is REALLY shallow. Life is more than appearances and a "best friend" should know better really. She should know and understand that you are sensitive about that. What else are best friends for, than to lift you up and give you encouragement to become the best you can be. You should really love yourself at any size, weight loss is very important when it comes to health benefits and can help with self confidence. But these people should not be looking at you as less of a person because you are slightly more of a person. Because no matter what size you are still you and they should realize this, not punish you as if you did a bad thing with comments like "It's okay I still love her" really un-cool.

I am sorry this happened. Stay strong! Heal fast!

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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  Morticia on Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:56 am

3jaysmom wrote:I've been blowing up the forum lately! So much to say.....so, I've lost 40 pounds so far, and have been feeling pretty good. Bought some new clothes, took a few compiments, all that stuff. At our party, we went out on the boat and hooked up the waterskis and had a blast. well, this morning I wake up and my friend had posted like 50 pics on facebook, and I was unfortunately in most of them, I looked so awfull, I spent an hour untagging. I need to readjust my goal. I thought I was only 20 pounds to goal, but after seeing the pictures, I know I need to lose WAAAY more. I think I need to lose another 20, making it 40 more. At first I thought I would be happy losing most of the weight I had gained in the last pregnancy, but now that I am getting closer, I feel like I need so much more. There is no reason I cant get this off in the next few months, its not like I'm trying to be a size 0 or anything, I just want to not be a chubster anymore. I'm ready to stop being a typical, out of shape, chubby pta mom. I just want to feel like a "person". Its so crappy that weight controlls my feelings of "self" like this. I'm just bummed about those friggin pictutes. Reality checks suck. Crying or Very sad Pity Party is over for the day



OH YES! I have a lot of old friends that tag me in photos as well. Old photos when I was like 21 yrs old up until my heaviest. Lucky you can make your tagged folder private! I also un-tag as well. I have about 20lbs left to lose, but I hope when I get there I am not like.. "Oh crap I'm still fat!" I feel sad for you that you have not hit that goal, but you will, just stick to it! And none the less I totally understand and feel for you!
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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  3jaysmom on Mon Oct 04, 2010 5:31 pm

That sucks. It is so crazy how much others notice the weight, almost before we do. Before I had kids, I was really into working out and always wanted to live up to the hot body standard. I can only imagine what people have said behind my back scince I've gained 20 pounds with each child, and an extra 20 after the third. I'm starting to realize it now that I'm getting the "looks like you're back on track" type comments. I liked them at first, but now I'm thinking that they must have had equally strong "she's letting herself go" comments that they didn't say as I gained weight.

I cant believe someone said that about you, at only 20 or so pounds over what you used to be!!! Especially from someone heavyset, #1, she should talk, #2, I'm sure you would NEVER say anything like that about her weight, #3, she's probably thinking "ha, now she knows what I feel like" Why does everyone think its OK to comment on anyones weight? After this experience that I've gone through with weight gain (and thank god, loss!) I will never comment on anyones weight, even if its a loss. It just brings up a sensitive topic.




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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  Lyra on Tue Oct 05, 2010 3:47 am

Morticia wrote:

Awww, that's so messed up. Thinking like that is REALLY shallow. Life is more than appearances and a "best friend" should know better really. She should know and understand that you are sensitive about that. What else are best friends for, than to lift you up and give you encouragement to become the best you can be. You should really love yourself at any size, weight loss is very important when it comes to health benefits and can help with self confidence. But these people should not be looking at you as less of a person because you are slightly more of a person. Because no matter what size you are still you and they should realize this, not punish you as if you did a bad thing with comments like "It's okay I still love her" really un-cool.

I am sorry this happened. Stay strong! Heal fast!


Thanks Morticia..LOL it's not best friend, it's boyfriend..haha it's okay maybe I made a typo. My boyfriend told me about it when I was in the surgery room that the dental girl told him "Lyra used to be so skinny with a great body." I don't know what her point was. It was absurd and awkward. When he responded that he basically loves me no matter what, she became quiet. No more bringing up the topic.

But after that..i realize how critical girls are about each other!
I know it sucks, Morticia and I want to turn this around. Let's pat each other on the back as women..it's not easy to be a woman because we are always under constant expectations. Hugs,
Lyra.

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Re: Weight Issue Confessions..

Post  Lyra on Tue Oct 05, 2010 3:52 am

3jaysmom wrote:That sucks. It is so crazy how much others notice the weight, almost before we do. Before I had kids, I was really into working out and always wanted to live up to the hot body standard. I can only imagine what people have said behind my back scince I've gained 20 pounds with each child, and an extra 20 after the third. I'm starting to realize it now that I'm getting the "looks like you're back on track" type comments. I liked them at first, but now I'm thinking that they must have had equally strong "she's letting herself go" comments that they didn't say as I gained weight.

I cant believe someone said that about you, at only 20 or so pounds over what you used to be!!! Especially from someone heavyset, #1, she should talk, #2, I'm sure you would NEVER say anything like that about her weight, #3, she's probably thinking "ha, now she knows what I feel like" Why does everyone think its OK to comment on anyones weight? After this experience that I've gone through with weight gain (and thank god, loss!) I will never comment on anyones weight, even if its a loss. It just brings up a sensitive topic.

Yes exactly! I realize this too, 3jaysmom! People notice it even before we do, especially fellow women! They have the sharpest analysis LOL so to speak. Very Happy
I don't know what the motivation of the Dental girl was..perhaps it was just and ice breaking conversation or..no idea! It was an awkward comment and it made me uneasy, also reflect on this past year I have gained weight put on 20 lbs from my slim body days.

As women, fluctuations of weight happen in our lives. It's normal! But the public (friends, peers, people we know etc) sometimes place certain standards or expectations regarding our looks. I don't know why women do this to each other. Let's all stay strong and win this battle! Hugs, Lyra

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